I'm probably the worst person on the planet to go shopping with. At least when it comes to clothes. If we go food shopping you will walk away thrilled. I like food.
I also like clothes. The difference between food and clothes is that I can eat the food, and want it now. Clothes are a challenge for me. Typically I wander around. Aimlessly. I look at things that I would never wear, things I want to wear but never could, things that cost way too much, and things I potentially want.
The store clerks ask me an average of 18 times if I'm still doing ok.
Usually I'll find a few items I want.
And then I put them back.
After an hour and having security called on me because no one takes that long unless they're shoplifting, I leave empty-handed.
Usually.
Sometimes there is a rare instant where I actually buy something.
Usually that something is grey. Gray? Grey. I like the letter 'e' more.
Why is it usually grey?
Because this is my thought process:
This is a cute shirt. I like this shirt. I would like to buy this. But what color?
Some part of my brain: Grey. Get grey. you don't have any shirts that are grey.
And so I buy the grey shirt.
Guys, I have 16 grey shirts. It's a problem. And I don't know how to fix it. My brain rejects my reality and substitutes its own. So I have a thousand grey shirts and only keep buying more.
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